May 2010
1 post
I am terrified.
I thought I didn’t need this blog anymore, but whatever.
I am TERRIFIED.
I am terrified of trying to work things out.
I am terrified that things won’t work out.
I am terrified of having you in my life.
I am terrified of not having you in my life.
I am terrified of hurting T even more by trying to work things out.
I am terrified of not liking you.
I am terrified of you not...
April 2010
21 posts
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
– Oscar Wilde (via kari-shma)
Open wound.
Why do I punish myself like this??!
So many things to say
1) April Fool’s Day joke—Mike Landon!
2) Suicidal neighbor
3) best friend’s ex asking me to the spring formal/trying to kiss me
4) best friend’s ex giving me the cold shoulder
5) International festival!!!!
6) Random Koreans playing awesome music on bikes. Julia & I are going to go on their parade on Wednesday at 10 am.
7) Em’s sweet, lovely letter!!
8) I miss ST...
“A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame...”
– John Burroughs (via kari-shma)
“Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,...”
– Albert Einstein (via elicec) (via quote-book)
The world recored for stone skipping is 51 skips.
ohyeahfacts:
(The Essential Book of Useless Information)
….I can barely even do one…
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call...”
– Eleanor Roosevelt (via quote-book)
I really need to keep this in mind.
“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others...”
– Albert Pike (via kari-shma)
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power....”
– Washington Irving (via kari-shma)
I know I should tumblr
but my fingers aren’t itching to write.
I need to write some things out, but I guess now is not the time….I should go to sleep, really.
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely...”
– Marilyn Monroe (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
Boys
are. so. confusing. The end.
The girl who lives three doors down the hall from me tried to kill herself tonight.
I never tried to get to know her.
This hits home too much.
I think I should go to sleep. But maybe I will watch Gilmore Girls tonight.
Missing Someone
I feel so. path.e.tic.
But I’m human, okay?
March 2010
14 posts
“Maybe who we are isn’t so much about what we do, but rather what we’re capable...”
– Jodi Picoult (My Sister’s Keeper) (via kari-shma)
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can...”
– Marilyn Monroe
Isn’t it funny, though? It does. It does.
Because my thoughts are always of them.
I can’t wait for when thoughts of them disappear from my head.
It doesn’t hurt anymore.
I don’t miss T.
I don’t miss J.
I don’t miss BMD.
I think of them always, but it’s a matter of habit. I don’t feel their absence in my life. I know they’re absent, but I don’t remember how it felt to have them in my life.
I don’t want this to define me anymore.
YES. LOVE. YES.
“And I’m lonely Campbell.” Julia adds. “Why do you think I had to learn to act so...”
– Jodi Picoult, ‘My Sister’s Keeper’. (via quote-book)
“To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone.”
– Suzanne Gordon | Submitted by rashelle (via quote-book)
“He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those...”
– The Great Gatsby. (via Prettythingsimnot) (via quote-book)
Don't Stop Believin'
I was just getting ready for bed, and Don’t Stop Believin’ came on my iPod. And I realized that that song reminds me of so many people, from so many walks of life. From my school, from ST, from the night Obama was elected…ah, such an epic song. And I know that next year, when it comes on my iPod, I will be overcome with miss. I wish that were a noun. Sadness, nostalgia, love—they...
I take comfort in the fact that we're gazing at...
Across the country, still loving you, and definitely not over you.
Missing you, thinking of you, loving you.
Thanks, aucp.
They FORGOT to tell me they accepted me. They emailed my study abroad office, but me, no. BUT I’M GOING I’M GOING I’M GOING!!! Sooooo excited!!!!
But…(and yes, there’s always a but)…I’m getting really quite sad about leaving my friends for a year. An introduction to the rest of my life, n’est pas?
Time to do French homework.
Do people ever really know people? Like, REALLY know them? Or is knowing someone all a façade? We only know what we let other people see, right?
I feel like children are true representations of themselves. Often, they’re not self-conscious. They are who they are. No pretense. They just…are.
So I guess I feel like the people I knew in elementary school, most of whom I have not seen or...
February 2010
15 posts
“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together...”
– Margaret Mitchell
(via kari-shma)
(via quote-book)
Live and Learn
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard that sentence, mainly, or maybe only, from my mother. A lot. My whole life. I always took it to mean “learn from your mistakes.”
It wasn’t until today that I realized that it means a whole lot more than that. It means that living is learning. Nobody’s perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. I guess I thought that I would reach a...
K Mart
K Mart is gone. Traded. We have Tracy McGrady, but he won’t last long, according to my dad. The world as I know it has changed.
Um, I’m supposed to be writing a paper. Due in 3 hours. Cool.
Also, my eyes are like messed up. And I can only wear my glasses. Meaning I am tired all the time.
I’ve had 9 chocolate vegan cookies in the last 2 days. That’s not including the...
I don't want this semester to end.
Ever.
Well, eventually. This semester is so bittersweet—I feel like I’ve been back forever even though it’s only been a few weeks, and it feels like March is nearly here and then oh crap—April—and then another oh crap! finals. And of course I’m looking forward to this summer.
But my friends here are my life. It’s going to be scary to be on my own for a year. And strange....
It's like the whole world is moving, and I'm...
I can’t do this. I don’t want this. I wanted this to be over, I let it be over. And then I changed my mind. And I didn’t want it to be over. And I got it back. But now I want it to be over. But I can’t, because then I would be, like, the world’s worst person, and friend.
I haven’t changed. I’ve just matured. But everything else is changing. And I just...
How can something that I wanted to happen, and it happened, why…why does it make me feel so empty? I mean, I think I wanted to be friends. Somehow, though, I just keep thinking of excuses to run away. Is that healthy? What does that mean? Why is that happening? Everything is so uncertain right now. Yes, we are friends, but obviously, our friendship is and will be quite different. How can I...
I'm listening to 'Maybe' by Ingrid Michaelson.
First stepping stone stepped on. But oh man, there’s a long way to go.
Santa Barbara with some of my blond friends tomorrow! I’m in such need of this.
Okay, seriously, why does bureaucracy suck SO MUCH??!
On being stubborn
I am a VERY stubborn person. When I’ve made up my mind about something, I mean, REALLY made up my mind, it’s very difficult to persuade me to think or do something differently.
I used to know what I thought. What I valued. What I wanted. College changed that.
When I say college changed that, I mean that college changed what I thought, what I valued, and what I wanted. It’s so...
“I’m going to tell you something really subverse. Love is everything it’s cracked...”
– Erica Jong (via kari-shma)
“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”
– William Penn (via simtan) (via quote-book)
